Mums are superhuman. Let's appreciate how amazing we are...
Parents. Hats off to us. We keep our little people fed, watered and dressed. We smile through declarations of “you’re not my best friend”, even after we’ve been up with them all night, mopping their little feverish brows.
Here are some ways that parents perform unimaginable feats every day. They may seem pedestrian, but you don’t know how hard they are till you’ve been there…
1. Opening Chuppa Chups
How many times have you battled with the wrapper of a Chuppa Chup? They are normally only needed in desperate times – at the checkout or in the doctor’s surgery. So, as you furiously try and tear off the wrapper, a small child is usually chucking a mega wobbly. The pressure is ON.
Why are they so hard? How many times have you torn off the wrapper with your teeth, only to have the lollipop fly across the room and smash into a million pieces? After that happens, things go down hill pretty rapidly.
2. Putting shoes on a toddler:
Putting socks and shoes on a toddler is like trying to wash a cat in iced water. Legs flail wildly. Kicks land in unfortunate places. Scratching, biting and maniacal laughter ensue. You are both left panting, broken.
But the shoes are on.
Then, as you turn around to perform yet another soul-destroying menial task, such as looking for the lid of the toothpaste, the little blighter has taken them off.
Just like that.
3. Changing a nappy on a sleeping baby:
We’ve all had to do this. It’s a tense moment, trying to decide whether you risk them waking up in a puddle, or risk waking them up during the change. There are so many pros and cons to consider. Everything rides on this moment. Successfully changing a sleeping babies nappy is the biggest high a parent can know. Double air pulls in the dark. It’s sad, but true.
4. Night time stuff:
There are a lot of small tasks that seem relatively simple during the day, but at night require superior skills. You’re often operating in the dark and in a daze, plus you’re trying to be quiet. These include: getting the foil off the lid of the milk and not spilling it, finding the end of a new roll of loo paper, locating lost dummies and using psychic abilities and memory skills to dodge loud and spiky toys on the floor.
5. Grocery shopping with little kids:
I would rather get teeth pulled with no anaesthetic than take my kids grocery shopping, and yet, I do it every week.
I know I’m not alone.
One kid is generally running off or having a tanty about not being allowed a Kinder Surprise and the other is either throwing all my stuff out of the trolley, pinching my hands as I try and push the trolley, or peeing in the aisles. Get me to the dentist. Please.
6. Administering medication
The only thing harder than putting socks on a toddler is giving them medication. Jelly snake in one hand, syringe of antibiotics in the other, you go in. At first your approach is softly, softly. You try explaining how important it is. Then you try the bribe. Then you hold them down and they spit it all over you. Then you feel like a bad parent. The cycle continues. Not much medication is ingested.
Extra points for eye drops.
7. Driving without crashing
The backseat is a minefield of laughter, tears, loud singing and everyone competing for your attention. They are always hungry, thirsty or in need of a wee. Sometimes, you get an empty water bottle thrown at your head. The windows need to be down, then up. The music is wrong, or needs to be repeated 15 times. It has to be turned up, then turned down. Parents are like rally drivers, dodging obstacles and multitasking.